Learning from my mistakes

*disclaimer: This post is me getting on my soap box and talking about birth and how I think things need to be different. I don't expect everyone to agree with me.  And it will be a lengthy read so if that's not your style feel free to skip. 

I've heard the phrase
A smart person learns from their mistakes and a wise person learns from others mistakes.
Please learn from mine.

So I'm roughly 7 mo pregnant with Lucy when we move into a new ward.  I'm waddling around the hall at church and this lady approaches me and notices that I'm prego.  We strike up a conversation about babies.  She then asks me if I"ve ever thought of a home birth.
Is she nuts?!  No way would I have my baby at home, that's just not safe, what if something happened?
Let's jump ahead to the birth of Lucy.
First off how I chose my Dr.  I work in  dental office and look at people's health histories on a daily basis.  And it says who their Dr is.  I had seen this Dr,'s name a lot and I had heard that he was really good at C-sections.  In my mind I thouht in the event that I need a c-sec I want someone who is good.  So that's where I went.

I woke up at 2 in the morning to pee.  When I went to lay back in bed I felt  pop and gush.  I rushed to the bathroom to find that my water had broken.  I was 35 weeks pregnant and had only lightly been reading the book What to Expect When You're Expecting.  I had absolutely no clue what I was doing and had expected my pregnancy to go longer so that at my next appointments my Dr could tell me what to do in these circumstances. I had not packed my hospital bag.  Clay and I are madly throwing things in a bag and we dash off to the hospital, EIRMC.  It's now 2:30 in the morning and they have me all checked in and start the IV.  I can only assume that they started the pitocin on me as soon as the IV was in.  (pitocin is a drug that speeds up your labor, it makes your contractions longer, harder, and faster) They also hook me up to the fetal monitors.  (those are bands that wrap around your belly and monitor the baby's heart rate)  (Continuous monitoring has been shown to increase your chances of a c-sec)   Once your water breaks you have a 24 hr window that they want baby out because you run the risk of infection.  So, basically they induced me, hence the pitocin.
By 9 am my contractions are getting harder and I'm getting whimpier. (thanks pitocin) We start an epidural because I had only progressed to a 4. (You get up to a 10 to birth that baby out)
Time goes by and as the hours progress baby stresses out, so much so that her heart rate completely dropped, nurses run in and flip me on my side and jam some medication in my arm.  For the next hour we watch the monitor through teary, stressed eyes.  By 2pm we've watched it enough.  The Dr. comes in and recommends a c-sec.  I've now watched my baby's heart rate drop to levels they're not comfortable with for the last hour, you better believe I wanted her out and safe.
3:37 pm Lucy is cut out of me and whisked to the NICU.
I now go into recovery completely exausted and cannot for the life of me keep my eyes open.
I meet Lucy for the first time the next day, completely groggy, pale, swollen and totally out of it.

6 weeks after you have a baby you go back to your OB/GYN.  At this appointment I met with the PA and I asked her what my next babies delieveries would be like.  She said they would plan another c-sec for the next.  And I said "And how many babies am I allowed to have via c-sec?"
She says "The Dr. usually only does 3 but we can see where we're at later"

If their is one thing about me you should know it's that I don't like to be told what to do.
I had no idea how many children I wanted but the mintue someone tells me I'm only allowed to have 3, that's just not gonna fly.
This is where my thinking transitions.

Months go by I've been exposed to some different birth ideas and spoken to women with different opinions.

Now it's time for another baby in the Pace household, except I don't want to do another c-sec.  It's not that my c-sec was necessarily a bad experience it's the principle that I don't want to be limited on the number of children I have.

You remember that home birth lady?  I had since made friends with her and just pegged her as a granola.  (Not at all derrogatory, that's just how she rolls)
I knew she was a birth guru and so I picked her brain.  I wanted to know her opinions on the physicians in town, to see who would help me with a VBAC. (Vaginal Birth After Ceserean)
I had learned from her and other resources that a VBAC makes Dr.'s very nervous and they would rather just do a repeat ceserean.  I knew that to get a VBAC I would need the right OB.
Before I even got pregnant I interviewed Dr.'s to see where they stood with VBACs.  I had found the right one, now I just need to get knocked up. :)

Positive pregnancy test yay!

I was happily going to this Dr., reading everything I could about how to prepare myself for a VBAC so I could have a success.
I was educating myself unlike I did with Lucy.
I had decided to get the best outcome I need to have an all natural birth-I do realize that epidurals make the pain go away, but they also up your chances of a c-sec.
I went in at 27 weeks for a regular check.  This is where he breaks my heart.  He tells me he is moving, to Utah.  I'm now in my 3rd tri, I've found a Dr who is willing to do what seems the impossible and he is leaving before I will deliver my bundle of wiggles.  To say I had a break down is an understatement.

I went back to my birth guru and she's been helping me ever since, via books, meetings with other pregnant women, you name it.

I've gone to both hospitals and toured them. (EIRMC and MTN VIEW)
I knew the questions to ask about what they will enforce what I can get away with.  The informed consent that you sign for a VBAC makes you sound like you're the most horrible mother and why would you endanger your baby like this.  ( I realize informed consents are their for the protection against law suit, but man they are brutal, aren't they?!)
I left both hospitals in tears.
I was now reading even more and stressing even more.
Poor Clay was having a hard time with all the water works.

Let me tell you about Agape Birth Center.  That is a birthing center in Rigby.  Located about 15 min from my house.  You are under the care of midwives.  You have the choice to birth there or in your own home.  I know a handful of women in my area who have gone with them and birthed at home.
The midwives at this center are Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) 

A Certified Professional Midwife is a knowledgeable, skilled and professional independent midwifery practitioner who has met the standards for certification set by the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) and is qualified to provide the midwifery model of care. The CPM is the only international credential that requires knowledge about and experience in out-of-hospital settings.

Through much prayer and deliberation I had decided to go with them with Clay's blessing.
Clay and I are cuddled up on the couch and watching a movie about birth, questions arise and suddenly the birth center deosn't sound like something we can handle, too many what if's for us.
Such as what if I go into labor early again?  I should deliver my baby in a hospital so she can go straight to the NICU.  CPM's are not allowed to deliver in a hospital therefore they would just act as my doula and I would go to the on call Dr., which I've heard that once they hear you come from a home birth they automatically sharpen the knife and do the c-sec instead of seeing if labor can progress as normal, it's a principle kind of thing.  (I'm sure they're not all like this, but that wasn't a chance I was willing to take)

Also a doula is your support person.  She's just there to take care of you.  To give you back rubs, foot massages, bring you and your husband closer, get you a snack.  She doesn't replace your husband she's just another helping hands.

Back to square 1, I now again have no idea where I"m going to birth my baby.  At this point I'm thinking maybe I'll just go into labor and ask the first person I see to help me and then together we can deliver life into this world.

We had just sold our car and we are down to 1.  We were in Rexburg looking at a car, and I wanted to tour the hospital real quick and see what their informed consent says.
It was night and day.  I don't know if it was me at the end of my rope or what but it fit.  I knew I could birth my baby there.  Their were still restrictions I wasn't in love with but they weren't deal breakers.
I made an appointment with the midwives in Rexburg. These midwives are CNM's.  A CNM starts out as an RN and then went on to become a midwife.  And these midwives work with Dr.'s  Sooooo in the event that labor doesn't go as planned and I have to have a c-sec I'm now seeing a Dr. that has had access to my file the entire time and not just the on call Dr.  And Clay and I are back to our comfort level of a hospital birth.  (not that I have completely ruled out home births in my future, but at this point in our lives this is where we are comfortable)

I met with 1 of the 3 midwifes and have found my care provider.  Hallilujah!

The lesson you need to learn from this is to educate yourself.
You should not go into labor relying soley on your Dr.  You need to know what is going on as well.
Had I educated myself I could have possibly prevented the c-section that has caused me so much grief and agrivation.  Had I only known to not labor on my back maybe my labor would have progressed on it's own without the help of pitocin, maybe I wouldn't have needed an epidural. Or maybe this all would have happened anyway.  The point is, yes I was doing my best but it was like I had gone in for a final completely unprepared expecting an A.

The number of c-sections being preformed has raised significantly and it's not preventing an lesser infant mortality rates.  Their are valid times for c-sections but too many of them now are being done for convience. Be aware of what is going on in your birth.

Climbs off soap box, apologizes to anyone who is offended by what I have said.  Encourages you to ask me any questions you have.  Not that I'm an expert by any means but what I have said is bold, so if you want further explanation and you have a clear head go ahead and ask away.