I got this

All right be ready for a lengthy read, unless you just look at the pictures then we're totally good.

And if your pregnant I would suggest reading this after you've had your baby.

You need more positive stories. :)

This is a birth story so if it is too much for you please feel free to skip and I will try my best to not be too graphic or include photos that don't disgust too much.

I had long decided to do this birth naturally as I felt that it was best for my baby and would give me the best odds of avoiding a repeat c-section.

I chose midwives in Rexburg who had a 90% success rate with vbacs and who believed in birth and were great to work with.

I chose the hospital in Rexburg because they were the most open minded to the ways I wanted to do things, would allow me to birth in the tub, and were just in general a better atmosphere. Plus they have babies like nobodies business there.

 

So I had joked around with Clay that I would have the baby on Nov. 6th because it is election day and I knew how much he wanted to watch it all unfold and it was also the day that a popular video game was coming out that he was very excited to get for his upcoming birthday.

 

So Tues Nov. 6th came, I made my daily chore list and thought "hmm I should take another pregnancy photo because I am indeed 37 weeks and we wouldn't want 35 weeks to be my last photo."

So Clay snapped a shot before he left for work.

Ta da!

 

About 8 am I started feeling some painful cramps/ contractions.  I thought hmm this could be it but very likely it's just braxton hicks.

I had some very intense ones and decided that I didn't want to do this alone anymore and called Clay to come home around 10:30. (To be honest I wasn't alone tho, I had Lucy busy asking me "what's matter Mom?"  And following me everywhere as I paced the house seeking any relief I could find.)

Around noon my Mom came and picked Lucy up as I seeked refuge in the tub and Clay was gathering last minute items to take to the hospital with us.

About 2 pm my doula showed up for extra support and love. (once again a doula is not a medical professional, she is there to give Clay and I all the support she can and to offer any comfort measures along the way)

She also snapped photos of us along the way.

 

The nice thing about contractions is that they come and go.  They don't just sit and hammer you, you will have at least a minute in between to gain the confidence you need to continue on, or if you're lucky fall asleep.  Which is desperately what I wanted to do.  I ached for sleep so much, but never got it.

Clay was my rock the entire time.  (kind of a cliche thing to say I know).  I knew that if he was there though I could do it.  And he was the best person a girl could ask for.  Not once did I hear him complain but I knew he must be tired, hungry, and uncomfortable.

 

As my contractions become closer together we decided to head to the hospital, around 5 or 6 pm.  I was nervous about driving a half hour while in labor.  I was accurate in my nervousness.  That was an agonizing drive and I remember screaming at least once.  I was facing my seat and Natalie was sitting on the dash providing that hip/butt pressure.

Being that I'm a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) the hospital has more requirements.  One being that I have to have monitors continuously monitoring the baby's heart rate instead of intermittently.  That band around my belly is holding them on.  One of the reason's I chose the Rexburg hospital is because they have a monitor that is mobile and will allow you to get in the tub, which was very impt to me because it takes off so much of the pressure and helps with relaxing.
It's too bad that they only have 1 and it was broken.
So I was tied to the machines right by the bed.

 

 

Here I am pleading with Clay to let them give me the epidural.  (I gave Clay and my doula strict instructions that I did not want and that they would need to be strong for me. )

You don't know how many times I would shout out "I can't do this anymore, I'm so done, get her out"

And then when the contraction subsided I was busy telling myself "I can do this, I got this"

And I'll admit I screamed, moaned, and vocalized so loudly that I'm sure the entire hospital heard me.

Transition is what they usually consider the hardest stage of labor, it's also usually the shortest and right before you push.  I swear I was in transition for hours.  Clay and Natalie were busy reassuring me and encouraging me but it was hell.

When it finally came to pushing, I pushed for hours.  I'm not kidding, hours, I was so completely worn out and yelling at her to get out.  And angry that she wasn't out already.

My midwife had been watching the monitors and baby's heart rate wasn't responding well.  She called in the back up Dr. Dr. Cod.  ( I knew that if they were calling in the Dr. it wasn't looking good)

He watched me push a couple of times and watched the monitor.  We had mutually agreed to try using the vacuum.  That awful, painful vacuum was placed and we tried 4 more times to no avail.  I pushed with every ounce of strength a laboring woman can produce.  Baby was stuck.  With an exam we discovered her head was turned.

And there was nothing I could do.

Time for a c-section.

Here I am getting a shot in the arm to stop the contractions.  The contractions that I had worked so hard for.

I was given a spinal through contractions and then they sliced and diced.  Nov. 7th at 1:15 am baby was born.

People have asked me if I got the natural childbirth I wanted.

Yes and No.

I got the 16 hours of drug free, excruciating painful labor.

The 1 hour of intense pressure c-section.

And then the long healing process ahead of me.

Do I wish things had been different?  You bet your butt, labor should not have been that long, you know if my opinion.  Baby's head should have been straight and just popped out.

Am I going to have a c-sec with the next baby?

Well during my c-sec the Dr. said I don't think this necessarily means you can't try for another vbac.  He said I would be willing to give you another chance.

That truly impressed me.

Do I want to go all natural again?

After all of that, hell no.  I would like to labor as long as I can naturally and then get the epidural and pray and hope that I get to have a baby like you're supposed to and not like they're removing a tumor from your gut.

I'm incredibly grateful that baby and I are both healthy, alive and actively moving around tho.

And grateful that I got to stay awake during the c-sec instead of being put under.

More of the story to come later.

Hope I didn't bore you with all my details.

 

And the real picture you want to see

Zoey Jane Pace!